Tre's Big Day - 1.7.19

Singing at 4:00 am

Today was the big day - the day for Tre's final (we hope!) spinal fusion.  Tre', of course, has endured all of this hoopla building up to today like a champ.  The rest of us have been a wreck!  😂😂 Last night we prayed together as a family and 75% of the family was in tears.  Tre, on the other hand, was looking around at us like, "What's wrong with you three?  I've got this!"

The thing about having a child diagnosed with Autism is, they have their own little quirks.  My child perseverates on music, noises, and sound clips.  That, combined with his unabridged love for music makes for some pretty great sound bites.  I got out of bed at 2:45 am so that we both could be ready, packed, and loaded in the car by 4:30 am.  Tre was his usual singy, chirpy self.  This morning, his song of choice was "Justified," by Smokie Norful.  He kept repeating this part:

"If it hadn't been for God (God did it) you wouldn't have made it
Hey, don't get confused about who kept you, hey (God did it)

When the enemy said that I couldn't, God did it (God did it)
When my haters said that I wouldn't, God did it (God did it)

Hey, I thought we'd never get out of the poor house but (God did it)
I thought we'd never see the White House but I'm claiming it (God did it)

Hey, and if you be honest, He's been over your house (God did it)
Every grateful heart just bless his name (God did it)

Who delivered you? (God did it)

Be honest about it, who kept you? (God did it)

Come on and testify who brought you? Hey! (God did it)

Now was the boy preaching or was the boy PREACHING?  I just love him!

Arriving to the surgical center

Tre' and I  arrived at Children's National Medical Center at 5:15 am, 15 minutes before our assigned arrival time of 5:30 am.  It was so early I was able to get a spot right in front of the elevators. The back of my van had so many bags it looked like I was going on vacation.  From the parking lot, to the front desk, then up to the surgical unit we wen. The feeling of dread was heavy on my heart. I don't know why this one feels so different - Tre has had this particular procedure once before, and smaller versions of it literally dozens of times. Even when you KNOW the procedure is absolutely the best thing for your child, the thought of bringing them to the hospital to be cut open feels like bringing a lamb to the slaughter.  The child has absolutely no clue of the seriousness of what is about to happen.  The adult, on the other hand, has ALL the information.  

Tre' with Ms. Laura

 Next, it was time for registration, vitals, and brief chats with all of the doctors.  Miss Laura was there to register us.  She has been working in the surgical care unit since Tre' was an infant.  It's always reassuring to see a familiar face when you walk in the door.  She's like that auntie that sits you down and makes you get something to eat before you leave the house lest she be offended (Now I KNOW you're going to eat some of this pie right? 😳)  She gave us our pager (which I will keep all throughout his surgery) and sent us back to wait to be called.

We got a Zoom conference call from Auntie Vonda, who generally is here for every surgical procedure he has ever had, but couldn't be physically here due to other obligations (it is important to note that in Black culture, every "aunt" is not necessarily by blood, some are aunts by love but are just as authentic and important as your direct relatives. Auntie Vonda happens to be the latter.)  Auntie was not going to let distance be a factor in her tradition when technology is so available!  It was good to talk to her and keep my mind occupied.  A member of the medical advocacy field herself, we reviewed our today and she inquired of his sock status - she has gone OFF on nurses who have not had his feet properly covered! I assured her that he had a pair of socks for every day this week and his feet would not go naked - she was happy and I stayed out of trouble!  Sensing my mood, she prayed with me and helped me reset my mind.

It was good to, because once we got off the phone with Auntie I called my youngest morsel of goodness to check in on him.  Today was his first day back to school from winter break.  He had a rough time last night - his level of empathy is tremendous and he was really concerned about his brother.  He needed some extra hugs and reassurance before we all went to bed, but he still had a hard time getting to sleep. I definitely didn't want to portray any uneasiness to him because he can pick up on my mood like a little Mommy barometer.  There was no indication of that this morning in his voice or his affect at all and all signs point to him having a great first day back to school.

Getting weight

Tre's trusty "colorful ribbon."

Not long after, the pager sounded and vibrated, startling me with its sudden vigor and volume.  We went through the doors and in the back for surgical prep - changing clothes, taking vitals like weight and temperature.  I had to make it clear to the nurse that Tre's "colorful ribbon" was extremely important and that he has been allowed to take it into the OR with him up and until he is put to sleep.  This helps to keep him distracted and manage his anxiety as well.  Once he goes out, they put it in a specimen cup and return it so he can have it when he wakes up.  He did well while he waited for me to speak to Dr. Kelly (his orthopedic surgeon) and the various nurses, anesthesiologists, radiologists, and such as they peppered me with questions. We discussed giving him a PICC line that he will keep for the week so that they will have easy access to his veins for drawing blood and giving meds and I was all for it. Anything to avoid turning him into a pincushion.

Finally, it was time to part ways.  He asked to use the bathroom just before it was time to go.  When we returned, the resident anesthesiologist was waiting for him, ready to wheel him back.  We could barely get him up on the bed before he was taking him into the OR.  I made a movie of him going back to help keep my own spirits up.  He was cool, calm, and collected - a great example for his mommy.  I am always learning from him - his strength, his resilience, his resolve.  I look forward to taking in all of his goodness as I sit and wait for him to emerge from the OR, victorious as usual.